Lets Focus On Right Now

“…Set us free from a past that we cannot change; open us to a future in which we can be changed…”

Right now I am sitting at a table with a child I babysit for, he is doing his schoolwork, I’m helping him as needed. Right now its chilly and grey outside, and I’m sipping my hot coffee. Right now I have a strong dissatisfaction with myself, my life, and my lack of any real direction in my future. Right now all I want to do is run. I want to run until I reach outward perfection. I want to be numb. Right now I am human, and a helpless one at that. I’m 20 and I want to make a difference that will inspire, and better the lives of people for thousands of years to come. Right now I’m hurting. Memories are haunting me, I’m disappointed in myself and angry at my past. Right now one of the chickens is laying an egg, and Sam went to collect it. Right now somewhere a child is being born, while another is being abused. Right now people are eating healthy full meals while others are starving. Right now there is so much pain spread around the world, right now there is so much joy , and so much love. Right now we live in a fallen world filled with sin, however, because of grace we are not trapped or controlled by it. Right now I feel down, but I’m choosing happiness, Im choosing to be in the present and only in the Present. Right now I’m surrendering my insecurities, and going on with my day. Right now I am recognizing God has complete control over my future. I know am loved by many no matter my size, how I look, and even my sin. Right now I thank God for Grace, I thank God for a new day, and a new start. I can’t change my past but I WILL learn from it, and allow myself to be transformed, so that my future is brighter. Right now I choose to let myself be changed as the days go by, I choose to be aware of my surroundings, and decisions, I choose to do my very best to honor God. I choose to live, and choose to look forward to what the future has to offer instead of dreading the “what ifs”  Right now I ask YOU to join me on the venture. 

Here are the chickens and some of the eggs they have laid. Then there is the family dog, Goose, snuggled up and ready for a nap :)



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4 comments on “Lets Focus On Right Now

  1. Laura says:

    Right now…you are choosing strength over weakness. And right now, I am proud of you. However, I will ALWAYS love you. Right now, and every other “right now” that is to come.

    Stay strong, believe in your abilities, and make a difference in the world. I know you can, and I know that you WILL. <3

  2. peacebeme says:

    I love this. I so want to join you on this journey. I can absolutely relate with feeling dissatisfied. I am not totally unhappy, just so unfulfilled, restless, and frustrated. You are so strong and I have no doubt you will make a difference in the world. I want so much to be more faithful and to trust more in God. So I am with you on starting this journey. You really inspired me today.

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