Sometimes I wish I could fast forward and see how things turn out, see if everything really will be OK. It seems when one problem is taken care of, another one is there, ready and waiting. Trying to see just how far it can push my limits until eventually, I break.
I know everything is in God’s hands, He has a reason for everything. All of it apart of his perfect plan for me. Honestly though, that’s getting harder and harder to believe. At risk of sounding melodramatic I can’t help but question why God would allow so much pain and misery. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I feel so selfish even saying that, because in all honesty I have a good life, materialistically speaking I have more than I need. Emotionally I have some of the most amazing supportive friends in the world, but that doesn’t take away the pain, the panic attacks, the memories, the fear.
The best I can do now is just take it day by day, there is no need to predict the future. It’s not for me to worry about, as long as I do the best I can in the moment. Things aren’t going to go my way, or as I planned but they will go exactly how God has planned them for me, and I need to just focus on that. He has guided me through the good and the bad for the past 20 years. I have no reason to doubt he is going to get me through this chapter. It’s all about faith I suppose.
Well I’m off to go on a walk with one of my friends, then we’ll probably come back here for coffee because,well it’s free! The best part of working at Starbucks?
You are never low on coffee or tea.
EVER.
I <3 mark-outs! And with such a surplus I get to give pounds of coffee away all the time, it’s fun!
I can relate to how you feel so much!! Though in the end, I try to think that everything happens for a reason. Whether it is happy or sad, some kind of lesson or message at the very least can come out of everything. Even working at Starbucks – clearly I need to get a job there!!
Thank you! hehe and working at the bucks is great, I’d recommend working there for sure!
How awesome that you work at SB! That has got to be the ultimate job, I mean how could you be in a bad mood THERE?!